Going through some files, I found an old performance review written by a former supervisor. It was mainly positive, but there were a couple of criticisms made that were unfair and untrue. At the time, there was little I could do about it. I couldn't contest it: there was no Human Resources department, and upper management knew and liked the supervisor but didn't know me because I was new. I could have refuted it in writing for my file, but the blowback would have made my life unpleasant.
That person is gone now, and the review no longer has any relevance for me, but re-reading it, found that it still rankled. I was angry and depressed for a whole day.
Has anyone ever criticized you unfairly? How did you get past it?
Well some VTers was quite rude with me on the travel forum sometimes.
Plenty of times.
The first and last rule of life is: LIFE IS UNFAIR
Why should I carry the thrash that my supervisor has thrown at me? He critised me without rhyme or reason, offloaded all his thrash on me. Now, why should I carry his thrash? I'll just shrug it off, mentally call him retarded and smile through my day. I *WILL NOT* allow *ANYONE* to spoil my day. If the need arises, I'll spoil it for myself like make a wrong decision, drink too much, eat too much, be rude to some one, scold the kids, whatever.
When its time, let go of life.
You think life in not unfair? Then why the rich and the poor, the choicest cuisine and starvation, the beautiful and the ugly, the sportspersons and the physically-challenged? The list goes on.
I have seldom had it happen to me but I have always been fairly good at defending myself, even in a court of law regarding a traffic offence. At times I have even accepted their comments but disagreed with either the importance or magnitude of the problem. I did however get sick and tired of hearing of people being given bad reports by supervisors who were not respected in the organisation I worked for at the time which was an aircraft factory. I became their union shop steward (clerical union) and this was a great source of personal development for me as I did various courses with the union as well as the ones I did that were factory sponsored. I got to travel to Canberra to lobby politicians on various matters like Australian participation in building defence products and we formed one of the first Departmental Health and safety Committees, which was pretty important when our department was responsible for building planes, ship guns, ammunition and clothing -all with their varying problems. I found that a lot of supervisors did not really know how to asses a person and some that did were very poor at writing a report that reflected what they actually thought. instead they wrote what they thought the people above wanted to hear.
Some good suggestions here that I will note for the future.
Maurizio, so what do you do when VTers are rude to you?
>>I *WILL NOT* allow *ANYONE* to spoil my day. If the need arises, I'll spoil it for myself That made me smile. Note to self: when depressed, email Anil.
Nice sentence ( I will not allow anyone to spoil my day...)
I usually get easily offended when somebody is rude with me. I use to try to let he/she know my point of view in a better way.
@Laverne=Thank u! Hey! We're both Cancerians!
It's still bothering you because you handled it badly.
You should have thrown it out years ago.
Two weeks ago my boss gave me a letter containing a repremand that I believe was very unfair.
He told me the subject matter as he handed me the letter so I didn't need to read it to know how I would feel.
So in his presence whilst disputing the fairness of his letter I slowley tore it to pieces unopened and binned it.
And I feel good.
Good decision Shaenj!
Welcome to VT!