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If You had to Choose.......

by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:17 AM

If you had to choose between losing your sight or losing your hearing which would you choose and why? I ask this because my husband recently lost total sight in his right eye. For no reason know to any medical test he experienced massive hemmoraghes in the eye which cause blood flow to stop to the retina. So now he has only one eye to see. One of my friends is deaf and is not a candidate for the coclear implant. She said it's better to be deaf than blind...she'd miss all the colors and sights. I think it's worse to not see in my opinion.

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70 Replies
  • TOPSHELFPUBCRAWLER's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by TOPSHELFPUBCRAWLER Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    I guess it makes sense that blindness is a greater disability as the afflicted often require assistance. If you have you sight but cannot hear, at least you can read and write in an effort to communicate. You also can navigate anywhere safely, albeit rather cautiously. Although I would miss listening to music, the sound of waves crashing, the sound of my wife's voice, and the laughter of my children, I would still be able to appreciate these things with my vision in tact. Remember "Scent of a Woman?" Sad of course to loose either, fortunate to have both. Cheers!

  • kathymof's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by kathymof Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    I have been losing my hearing for years and it is very problematic but I would rather be deaf than blind. A psychologist I know says that deaf people are more isolated in society than blind people because of the communication. He is probably right but I love reading and travel and both would be pretty hard without my eyes.

  • FridgeMagnet's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by FridgeMagnet Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:35 AM

    A friend of mine is losing his sight. He has had a series of operations which have postponed it but it will happen him eventually. I can't imagine how it must feel to know something like that. I would most definitely opt for deafness. I don't think it would make me feel as cut off from the world. Blindness is something approaching death! Rage against the dying of the light!

  • Kaspian's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Kaspian Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:43 AM

    I couldn't imagine not ever hearing music again. That would kill me. Also, if I was blind you could still sit me down in a pub, give me pints, and I could have a conversation with others around me. Deaf people get cut off from the ability to communicate with average people. It would suck not knowing if my hair was combed properly, and not being able to look at beautiful women anymore, but I'd have to choose hearing over sight.

  • canuck68's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by canuck68 Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 8:48 AM

    I am so sorry about your husband. Not knowing the cause must be worrying. I would definitely rather be deaf. I think because I love to read and work on the computer and also I would not have to be dependent on anyone else and therefore my sight is the more valuable to me.....sorry I fractured that sentence.

  • buffybird's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by buffybird Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:07 AM

    Ah my grandma was blinded by a golf ball to her eye, freaky, but somehow she coped and won every card game, alas i finally turned 12 and realised the brail encoding. I think that with one sensory skill gone the others hone in, and thus you better stop cursing under your breath as your hubby is soon going to be able to hear you. Sight to hearing, tough call, see colours and get around or hear kids laughing etc, i can't decide as ive experienced both but don't wish to live it. Appreciate what we have is my motto. Goodluck to hubby and best wishes to yourself. Heath

  • raraavis's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by raraavis Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:13 AM

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Hope they find the root cause and correct it soon. I would rather not lose either sight or hearing, but will hopefully find a way to cope and thrive if that happens.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    The hemmoraghing cut off the blood flow badly enough to damage the tissue permanently so the sight will never return to the eye. Fortunately the left eye had fully compensated for the loss of vision. Plenty of people can function with one ye and still have a normal life...I just feel bad that he has to go through this. It's not something you can relate to unless you've experienced it for yourself.... I think going deaf after being able to hear is worse than being born deaf. My friend Maryann was born deaf. She has never know what it was like to hear the ocean or music...so she doesn't miss it. She can speak, but not well and communicates with a hand held device that speaks words she types into it or sign language. At work she communicated strictly through emails. It is sort of isolating with other co-workers not wanted to take the time to interact with her by speaking slowly and making sure she can read their lips. If I lost my hearing after knowing sound...I think it would drive me batty.

  • Gypsystravels's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Gypsystravels Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:37 AM

    Fear of losing my eyesight was the contributing factor in my decision to wait as long as I did to have my lasik eye surgery (new technoligies now make it so much easier than 15 years ago), so not having my sight would be far worse for me than not being about to hear. Sorry to hear that he has lost sight in one eye, hopefully whatever reason caused the loss of one eye will not cause the loss of the other.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:42 AM

    Thanks raraavis ! They did every test known to man and there was O cause for it. No tumour, no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no blocked artery...They said it was just a freak thing almost as if his eye had a stroke of sorts. They think the other eye will be fine (knock on wood) but the right eye will never see again. So he'll have a beautiful but useless blue eye. He's handling well; which is urprising...I wouldn't handle it as good.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    Thanks Diane- No ause could be found...but it could always be worse. Perspective is everything in such situations and he isn't doing the self pity thing at all. He has a positive attitude about it which I think can only help.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    Thanks Heath! Fortunately he can still work, drive etc. The other eye has fully compensated. At first when he went to drive I was so scared..I was afraid his vision would not be good enough with the one eye to function well as a driver. Thankfully he drives just as well with one eye as he did with two. It was rough at first since it too some time for his left eye to take over the burden..he did suffer horiible headaches.

  • Kaspian's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Kaspian Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:56 AM

    Things like that area really scary. My friend, Jadie, woke up one morning and found she was completely deaf in one ear. Doctors were never able to offer an explanation or fix. It's rare and called "sudden deafness".

  • alza's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by alza Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Sorry about your husband's accident, Liz. I hope he keeps adjusting as well as he's doing already. you say your friend says better to be deaf than blind while you think worse to not see, so I guess you're both saying the same thing? :) as for being born deaf or losing hearing later... I was just writing this reply when I saw your comment & I actually saw it the other way around. I was thinking that I prefer to have my sight than my hearing, for many reasons, one being that with the music already in my heart & mind, and imagination, I know I could hear the music in my head since I know it. I could call it up whenever I wanted to. I'd rather have heard before & have all the sounds in my head, even though I "might" miss them -- though I don't think I would, my imagination is very vivid & I know I would hear them in my head. I already do that without turning music on or without listening to the birds or sitting by the ocean. I think it's better to have known than never to have known. That's me of course. :)

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:54 AM

    I guess it's just one of those fluke things Kaspian..It will never have an explanation.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    Hi Lou- I guess it's like better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I rely so much on my sight that I don't think I could manage not seeing. I was once very nearsighted and wore very strong prescrition glasses. I had Lasix surgery 12 years ago to correct it and it was as if I was looking at the world for the first time. I was never able to see so clearly and perfectly...every detail was visible. I couldn't imagine having to give that up...

  • travelgourmet's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by travelgourmet Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Liz, I am sorry that Chris had that happen to him. A word of cheer in a difficult time. My uncle lost his right eye to a wire than sprung up and hit his eye. He not only managed to see with his left eye, his coordination and depth perception returned to near normal. He had no problem driving, reading, watching TV, or enjoying this great planet, Earth. He lived to be 85 and had good vision in his left eye, his entire life. Best wishes to the both of you.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 12:01 PM

    Thanks Larry! I have been hearing so many stories of people suddenly losing sight in one eye yet managing to still maintain a normal life. I think that will be the case with Chris.

  • Odinnthor's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Odinnthor Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    Boy, that's a tough call. In later years, losing sight, would be worse, due to not being used to it, so stumbling would become norm. People blind from birth do not consider themselves handicapped. Losing hearing, in later life is bad but easier to live with, as you have already been able to enjoy the sounds of life and music. Sorry to hear about your husband. Not much positive can be said about that, - but men tend to look good wearing a cool eye patch.....( I know, lame, but I tried )..........d:o)

  • wwroam's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by wwroam Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    I think that blindness would be far worse. Seven years ago I had cataract surgery in one eye. Because the onset was so slow, I had steadily adjusted my sight and hadn't realized I had no sight in the eye. Hubby will be fine.

  • LadyRVG's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by LadyRVG Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    Well my huband loves pirates so maybe a eye patch would be cool...lol...Halloween everyday!

  • VZ-Pam's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by VZ-Pam Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 1:57 PM

    Sorry to hear about your husband's vision problems. My mother also lost one of her eye sight in a simple eye surgery turned bad 2 years ago. She had already took over the title Pirate Queen for 2 years and have been doing everything like normal people. So normal that no one knows she is one eye blind ~ heeee Anyway, I would rather be deaf than blind....like my mother said to me all the time ~ "You never listen to people anyway "

  • hundwalder's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by hundwalder Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    Interesting topic: The vision in my right eye has slowly deteriorated to the point that it is now very weak. During the process my left eye has self compensated as much as possible, but my depth perception has suffered greatly, which is not a good thing for an avid athlete such as myself. Loss of hearing would be devastating for me, because making music is such an all encompasing part of my life. I know exactly how Beethoven felt. However, I could no longer perform my life's work as a mechanic without my sight. Therefore, sight loss would be even worse for me.

  • hundwalder's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by hundwalder Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    By the way Liz, I am sorry to learn this about your husband, and I trust that whatever possible is being done to ensure that a similar problem will not occur in his left eye. Best wishes!

  • jumpingnorman's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by jumpingnorman Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    Liz, just read about this. Chris is a very strong person to be handling this well and also lucky to have a loving wife like you on his side. My grandfather also had one eye (accident after playing with arrows as child), and having one eye actually saved him from joining the military and being among the many who died during WWII. Hugs, Norman :)

  • tropicrd's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by tropicrd Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 9:55 PM

    Liz--so sad to hear about your husbands loss of one eye--he sounds like a really positive person and so do you. I lost the sight in one eye after being diagnosed with glaucoma many years ago which is a commomn cause of blindness--but as others have said the other eye compensated and I do everything I want to do. I wouldn't be able to decide between being totally blind or deaf. Both have pros and cons. Take care of yourself. Hugsssssssss Dorrise

  • Odinnthor's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Odinnthor Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:03 PM

    Hey Dorrese, too bad you did not know about the benefits of some good ganja for your glocoma.......it really does work ya know.......d:o)

  • tropicrd's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by tropicrd Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:17 PM

    Erik----yes mate,I did know and it was legal for me to use it in eye drop form as medication haha,but working in the drug & alcohol field it was taboo and at that time my career was very important to me.Now that I am retired hmmmmmmmmm not a bad idea and I think I can have a small amount for medicinal purposes,but my bunged up lungs would not like it.lol. I have two artificial valves that rotate the eye fluid around my eye balls to stop the raised eye pressure and they have been fantastic--also had laser treatment which worked well for my good eye and script glasses--so I can manage quite well. Hugs Dorrise

  • Aloe9678's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Aloe9678 Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:31 PM

    I think I would rather be deaf - I think I would still be able to dance since the vibrations of the speakers are usually quite noticeable if the music is loud enough. On an aside, with no intention of highjacking the thread, I am now wondering what my grandmother would be like if she was smoking weed instead of drinking vodka, which she is quite fond of. Hmmm...

  • Odinnthor's Profile Photo

    Re: If You had to Choose.......

    by Odinnthor Online Now Apr 22, 2010 at 10:49 PM

    Dorrese, girl, I feel ya here....!!!....d:o) Personally, I am all for the ganja solution, and I do know a couple of people that have saved their sight by smoking weed. I also will confess that I sold premium Maui Wowie, to a couple of doctors on Maui, that were taking care of some cancer patients. No, I was not a drug dealer, but I had access. One of the aged patients that this particular doctor was responsible for, once pulled my face close to hers, and thanked me for helping to alliviate her pain. That moment changed my perspective, - forever. Think about it.

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