Miscellaneous Forum

Yesterday I had an audition for an organist/choir director postion at quite a posh church. Everything seemed to go reasonably well and the interview portion was cordial enough, though everyone held their cards close to the chest.
This morning I got a phone call from the minister telling me they loved my playing---they had no idea the organ could sound like that, etc, etc--- and that I gave extremely succinct and articulate answers to some very difficult questions, and that unless somebody on my recommendations list sabotages it they're almost certain to offer me the job.
(I don't actually want the job according to the terms on offer.)

Of course, this is a great ego boost, but still, I feel as though I've hoodwinked them. I've pulled the wool over their eyes. They must be either deluded or gormless.
Apparently this is not uncommon. It's called impostor syndrome, and musicians are especially prey to it.

Does this happen to you? Is there a cure?

what did you audition for if you don't want the job

i can't think of anything dafter than putting yourself through the perils of an interview?audition if the terms they are offering aren't what you are happy with ( less it said --Negotiable at the side )

But Well done on the job offer you little imposter you

Fair question.
How do I know I don't want the job if I don't go find out? If I don't play the organ and meet the people I'll never know.

Also, it's been far too long since I've auditioned for anything, it's time to shake up my life a bit, and auditioning is a skill to be learned and practiced. You get better at being interviewed the more you do it. So next time, maybe it's a job I really want and I'll understand the process better. It was ideal to interview for a job I wasn't convinced about because it gave me the chance to cope with the reality of it without being too emotionally invested.

good answer
#
never thought about that as auditioning for anything stopped for me when i stopped attending the Y
used to get roped in to doing daft things - not a natural performer - not even a karaoke gets me going

LOL

Oh I thought every interview requires some elements of feigning interest. I had an interview a few weeks ago that I wasn't convinced was the right job. They didn't want me so problem solved there. :) It did give my current boss a little kick in the bum to work on getting me a raise as I had to inform prior to the interview.

I just read about it. Interesting how they think more women suffer from it. Think I definitely suffer from it...but I've learned to "brag" a bit more seeing how many idiots are running around bragging their accomplishments when they've got nothing under the belt.

It is true that sometimes you don't realise you might not want a job until you are actually at the interview. I applied for a teaching job at a very good school that I had always wanted to work at, was shortlisted and went to visit the school for a very positive pre interview chat and a chance to watch me teach. After the lesson I delivered, it was indicated to me very strongly that the job would be mine and the actual interview was a formality.
Oh I stressed the night before the interview but couldn't get the niggling doubts out of my head...I phoned the morning of the interview to withdraw my application but felt very bad doing it.

>>>>>seeing how many idiots are running around bragging their accomplishments when they've got nothing under the belt.<<<<

That's very common in my profession. There are any number of organists who have posh jobs because they have a Doctorate and they sell themselves effectively but their performance is substandard. Getting a committee to look past the paper credentials and just listen is nearly impossible.

Wow, thanks for that bit of trivia about "impostor syndrome". I'd never heard of it and just spent a nice amount of time Googling and reading about it on the Net.

Yes, I suffer that all the time--but it doesn't make me feel incompetent, it makes me feel, umm... like "Hahahaha.... Fools!! I've tricked you all again! See ya, suckers!"

I often think my talents are garbage, but then I look around at the other people doing the same task and think, "God, I suck--but they *really* suck." Does that make sense?

I take much better photos than a lot of self-proclaimed "photographers" I know, write better than the "writers" for our local paper, and I've recorded way better songs than most of the "musicians" around town. While I'd admit that I'm a bit cr@p at most things, I honestly believe that others are complete and absolutely horrible cr@p at them.

Well, part of the syndrome is the worry that you'll be unmasked. Suddenly one day the people you work for will wake up and realize that you're utter crap and you've been fooling them the whole ti,e.
If this posh organist job were something I was truly enthusiastic about it would be terrifying to accept it because of the worry that once I got in they would realize they've been fooled by my sweet talkin' ways.

Yeah, but that unmasking bit never happens because people don't want to admit that they'd been fooled. I always figured if something like that actually did happen, I'd stroll down the street and trick somebody else into giving me a job. I realized at a young age that the "sucker born every minute" adage was true, and I wasn't one of them.

Put it this way, if you actually are doing an impostor job and people buy into it, that makes them a lot stupider than you. So--if YOU are smarter than your BOSS, that person shouldn't be your boss and you should probably be the one in charge anyway. make sense?

But there's a lot of stupid people in charge. Sometimes smart bosses have to put up with dumb employees because their hands are tied by HR. That's how impostors thrive, kinda Dibertish.

I think it's helpful, especially if you're in the midst of a job rut, to put yourself out there and get your ego boosted a bit. Even if you know you won't take the job from the beginning.

And yeah, I suppose I fit that imposter profile as well. But I like the fact that people (acquaintances, coworkers) don't know me well. I much prefer having a close circle.

"Yeah, but that unmasking bit never happens because people don't want to admit that they'd been fooled. "

Yep, how many fake masterpieces are in art museums, because the museum doesn't WANT to know if the masterpiece is authentic or not...

Bill

"(I don't actually want the job according to the terms on offer.) "

Well, I am currently speaking to a non-profit in the area to be their CEO. They appear to be interested in me, and I actually would like the job...just not at the salary range they posted. But I figured that if we didn't start talking to each other, that we'd never find out if they liked me anyway or if they could offer me a creative compensation package that would make it worthwhile to me or what. So, literally, "I don't want the job according to the terms on offer", but I figured that we were close enough to at least have the conversation.

Fortunately, they finally asked (in a series of emails in follow-up questions) what my salary expectations were, which allowed me to broach the subject. They haven't replied back yet (just a couple of days), so we'll see if that shocked them ;-)

Bill

Well, most of us are peons so we have to play on their terms.

In my case they would have to totally overhaul or rebuild the organ because it's a wreck---which I couldn't know until I played it--- and face the fact that calling it a 10 hour per week position is totally delusional given what they want me to do for them. They also have to offer me full health benefits.
Stranger things have happened, but it's hard to ask for these things when you're convinced you're an impostor.

I have experienced this recently. I was approached by a PhD where I go to school about conducting research and coauthoring a paper with him for a major psychological journal...I STILL don't have any idea why he chose me. He said it was because I not only grasp the material in question, but that I also attend to it fully and he can see that I have passion for it. I hear him, but what he says translates in my head to "I feel sorry for you" or "Maybe I can get something out of it".

I first dicovered the syndrome had a name last fall when I was taking a writing class at Harvard after many years out of school. I turned in one paper after another that I thought were crap but all got A's, which my mind translated to "She's grading us leniently because we're too pathetic to take seriously".