Technical Forum

This has probably been asked a thousand times before so I apologize.
But I just want to know if VT staff can devise it so that one won't appear in another member's friends list until one confirms the addition?

If someone adds you to their friends list and you do not reciprocate, you will not appear in the "Friends online" section of the console. That is the only function of the friends list. Consider that anyone can see if you are online, if they visit your page or the "Online members" page (section of the "Meet members").
The new version of VT will apparently have no console and maybe this will change. Anyway, I don't see the point. If you don't want to be friend of someone, just don't add them to your own list.

I too am unconcerned about this.

There are several brand-new male members who have added me to their friends' list almost straightaway (I suspect I can guess why). I didn't reciprocate but it makes no odds to me: everyone can 'see' everyone online, friend or not.

If they want to think I'm their 'friend' they can. I know I'm not, and nobody else cares two hoots.

and it is just kind of like adding a bookmark for a website.

if you think it is creepy to think how many actual VTers are saving your page as a bookmark (friend), imagine the millions more creepazoids who can do the same thing and not even join VT. it is the price you pay for choosing to have an online identity.

the only difference is if you reciprocate you will appear online in their notice console.

I agree, it doesn't bother me either.
There is a clear signal that you are not a mutual friend. On the other persons Friends List you appear in a light blue bar, which turns darker blue once you return the favour. That way everybody can see that you may be on someone's Friends List but that person is not on yours.

In our neck of the woods, we call these people “Billy no Mates”
They can’t find a woman in the real world so they troll around websites and try and find a virtual friend (girl) :o)